INTESTATE
SUCCESSION PAGE
Intestacy is the process of dying without a will. In that
instance, the state will dictate who will get your assets.
It often might mirror what you would desire. For example, your
children and spouse would be the first choices to receive your
property. Your parents would be next, if you had no children
or a spouse. This process continues until a time when no relatives
can be found for you. At that point the state takes your money
for their own purposes; but this is rare. Here is a satirical Last
Will and Testament, if you do not put together a will for yourself!
MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
PROVIDED FOR ME, FREE OF CHARGE,
BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA
Being of sound mind and
memory (or not of said quality of mind and memory), I, (insert
your name) do hereby publish this as my last Will
and Testament:
First paragraph: I give my surviving
spouse all of my community property, but only one-third of
my separate property, and I give my children the remaining
two-thirds of my separate property. If I have no surviving
spouse, then my property shall go to my children equally.
If I leave no children, then my property shall go to my parents
in equal shares. If my parents do not survive me, I give
my estate to my brothers and sisters. If my brothers and
sisters do not survive me, my property shall go to my next
of kin in equal shares. If I leave no kindred, my property
shall go to the State of California, to do with as they see
fit, in their infinite wisdom.
Second paragraph: I appoint my surviving
spouse as guardian of my children, but as a safeguard I require
that (he/she) report to the Probate Court each year and render
an accounting of how, why and where (he/she) spent the money
necessary for the proper care of my children. If I leave
no surviving spouse, the Probate Court shall appoint a guardian
of my children (including somebody I dont know), as
they see fit, at the cost of my estate.
Third paragraph: As a further safeguard,
I direct my spouse to produce to the Probate Court a performance
bond to guarantee that (he/she) exercises proper judgment
in the handling, investing and spending of the childrens
money.
Fourth paragraph: As a final safeguard,
my children shall have the right to demand and receive a
complete accounting from their (mother/father/court appointed
guardian) of all of (his/her) financial actions with their
money as soon as they reach legal age.
Fifth paragraph: When my children reach
age 18, they shall have full rights to withdraw and spend
their share of my estate. No one shall have any right to
question my childrens actions on how they decide to
spend their respective shares. They can even spend it all
one an automobile if they decide that is the most prudent
choice.
Sixth paragraph: I request that no measures
be taken to reduce the cost of administering my estate. It
is my intention that my attorney and my executor receive
the highest possible fees for their services, as allowed
under the law. I further request that no attempt be made
to reduce any of the other costs of the administration of
my estate.
Seventh paragraph: Should my (husband/wife)
predecease me or die while any of my children are minors,
I do not wish to exercise my right to nominate the guardian
of my children, a guardian of their estate, or a trustee
to manage the estate as I would direct for their health,
welfare and education.
Eighth paragraph: Under existing tax
law, there are certain legitimate avenues open to me to reduce,
or eliminate, the Federal inheritance taxes upon my death.
Since I prefer to have my money used for governmental purposes
rather than for the benefit of my lawful heirs including
my surviving spouse, children, parents, etc., I direct that
no effort by made to lower taxes.
In Witness Whereof, I have set my hand
to this my Last Will and Testament, this __ day of ________,
2000.
______________________
Approved by Arnold Schwarzenegger
- No Witnesses needed for this will, because
it is provided by the state of California